Knowledge, Skill, and Desire

Habits are a tricky thing. For me most of my habits, bad and good, started forming without much thought to the fact that I was developing something good or bad in my life. Some of my habits started way back when I was a kid and others just developed over the course of time. Like getting up early. I used to sleep until like noon on the weekends, but then I grew up (maybe?) and got a job and had to start getting up early. Unfortunately, a habit was formed. Now, I always get up way earlier than I really want to. 

We all know it takes a long time to form a habit and forever an even longer time to break a habit. Steven Covey in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People says that to change our habits we must have knowledge or know how, skill or the ability to change, and desire or motivation to make or break our habits.

Yep, desire, motivation, the willingness to do whatever it takes to make the change. That's what gets me every time. I want to eat healthier, but I am more motivated to eat cake than celery. I want to save more money, but I am more motivated to buy new shoes.

In the 7 Habits, Steven also introduces us to to the Stages of the Maturity Continuum. Stage 1 = Dependence. Here, we depend on others and we place blame on others. You are the reason I am obsessive. I am in a bad mood because you didn't help me all day. You caused me to be ______. Stage 2 = Independence. The Ego stage. I don't need your help. I can do everything. I already know how to do that, and I don't want to see your way even if it is better. Stage 3 = Interdependence. We can work together to figure this out. We can make something way better than if I did it by myself.

Steven encourages us to move from the I and the YOU to the WE. We can create something higher and better than ever.

For me, this continuum sets the perfect stage for making and breaking habits. If we can work together, we will have more knowledge, more skill, and hopefully more desire to form lasting habits that change us for the better.


Until next time...

XOXOXOX