Habit 4: Think Win-Win

Habits 1, 2, and 3 are considered to be our private victories. We are no longer dependent upon others to make our choices, we can accept our responsibility and execute our lives. Essentially, we are independent.  Yet, we are not highly effective. We must still develop relationships with others so that we can work interdependently.

Habit 4: Think Win-Win really makes me think a lot about my marriage. In the workshop, it was mentioned that win-win is not compromise. Compromise is reaching an agreement by mutual concessions which means each person gives up something. Win-Win is finding a solution that works for both of us. Whoever the "us" may be. Your spouse, business partner, child, friend, etc. I think the line between win-win and compromise is extremely thin and in a shade of grey I do not like.

However, Covey proposes that our interactions fall into one of these six paradigms: win-win, win-lose (I am going to beat you, NO MATTER WHAT), lose-win (I concede, but I will get you back later), lose-lose (if I go down, so are you), win (I don't care if you win or lose, as long as I win), and win-win or no deal (find something that works or don't play; the highest form of win-win).

Win-Win is a term I have been throwing around long before I took this course. What I have learned is that just because in my brilliant mind thinks a situation is a win-win doesn't mean it actually is. In order to have a win-win situation, you usually need 2 parties.  I have also learned that when I say "win-win", it more than likely means just a "win".

Honestly, I do want everyone to have a happy, successful, people filled life, and all that hippie stuff. I DO!! But when push comes to shove, deep down I know, I don't really care (at all) if you win or lose or get an award as long as I am happy and proud and recognized. I know, I am a sad, self-centered person. But hey, the first step is admittance, right?

In all seriousness, this is something ELSE that I need to work on especially in my marriage. This whole being a good, effective human being stuff is way too complicated awesome! Thank goodness there are only seven habits. It is no secret that I take over bull doze my way into situations until I get what I want, the way I want it  whether Wes is happy with it or not. I truly do (I DO) have good intentions, but we all know where that leads.

The great thing about Win-Win is that it is not Losing. Win-Win is cooperative, listening, communicating, allowing the other person to say no without arguing or trying to win them to your side. It is a what do you want, what do I want, and how do we get there agreement. Who doesn't want that?

Until next time...

XOXOXOXO

INFJ=Weirdo Now you are going to know how CRAZY I really am

*Warning: This post is about a crazy girl who just happens to be me!

I saw a link on someones FB page to an article in The Huffington Post that matched book characters to peoples personality traits based on the Myers Briggs somethinganother. If you didn't know your personality type there was a link in the above article to a FREE test! They had me at Hello!

The test results are in, and my personality type is INFJ. A box outlines me as 12% more introvert than extrovert. 12% more intuitive than sensing. 12% more feeling than thinking. 89% more judging than perceiving. Not the kind of judging you in like appearance, but another kind of judging that I still have no idea about but I am lot of it!!

This Myers guy really knows how to win a girls heart because it doesn't take long until I read this sentence. "INFJ's are a rare personality type. Only 1% of people have this personality type."  By this time I have forgotten all about my matching book character, and I am trying to figure out just how big of a weirdo I really am. I mean, Wes already thinks I am a big bag of crazy cat lady a little silly and now this Myers guy is saying it without even meeting me!

And now you are going to think it, too. The test results go on to describe in detail the characteristics of INFJ's. All of which I agree with and totally think describe me in detail. Like how I really am concerned about hurting other peoples feelings, but at the same time I don't always play well with others. And the fact that INFJ's lives are very orderly and organized but one thing is usually a mess like a desk. For me, that is my car; it is a disaster. Don't go in there. It smells and dirt is all over the place. Wes comments all the time about how I just let my car go, and it boggles his mind. Now we know why! Just blame it on the INFJ!

It also goes on to explain that INFJ's are very intuitive. Like the most intuitive of anybody. People who believe they have psychic powers are usually, you guessed it, INFJ's. Here comes the crazy... Wes and I pass by this house on the outskirts of Hattiesburg every time we go to visit my parents. Big sign in the front yard of their house reads: Palm Readings. Wes asked me last time we passed if I wanted to do it. I said absolutely NOT!! I believed that some people could tell the future, and I did not want to know mine especially if it was BAD! He just laughed that whatever laugh. I was like no seriously!!

Me: Babe, I think some people have feelings about stuff and can tell when something bad is about to happen.

Wes: Okay, yeah. People have feelings about stuff that doesn't mean they happen.

Me: I have had a lot dreams about stuff, and then they HAVE HAPPENED!!

Wes: (plays his favorite game)Name one time.

I will spare you all the times the few times this has happened and the details, but I promise you I have had dreams about stuff and then the next day or week or month it happens or something very similar to it happens.

I am sure Wes was rolling his eyes all kind of crazy in his head by the time I got through my list, and then he looked at me. I knew he no longer thought I was a big bag but a giant bag of crazy cat lady!

Me: I mean, I'm not saying I'm psychic or anything.

Wes: No, you are just PSYCHO!!

And all of this before I ever learned that I was the weirdo INFJ personality type with possible psychic abilities.

Well, it is still to be determined if I am a psychic or psycho or just a crazy cat lady, but in the mean time, I will blame it all on the INFJ (whatever that is).



Peace out!!

It isn't written in the stars

Well, there goes Habit 1. At least now, I have an excuse. What's yours? Baaaahahahaha

Click on the picture!!

Peace out!

Photos, Photos

One thing I have really, really wanted to do for about 3 years is have some photographs of me and Wes made. I love our wedding photos, but honestly, they are old and outdated.

I learned about Betty Donne Photography from a wonderful blogger, Jan. Read her blog here. Tricia was such fun to work with. Here is just a sample.

Until next time...

XOXOXOX

Habit 3: Put First Things First

When thinking if the 7 Habits, Covey suggests that we should build one upon the other and shares this analogy. In Habit 1: Be Proactive, we learn that we are the programmer or our lives. In Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind, we write the program. So in Habit 3: Put First Things First, we run the program that we wrote.

Therefore, if our mission statement is our program, and we are running the program that we wrote then by principle we will put first things first. For most of us, if we were to make a list of the 5 most important things to us, those things would be (or at most involve) people. Our relationships come first.

This habit at a glance, looks like one I have already conquered. Hi! My name is Brooke, and I am a PLANNER. I plan, re-plan, plan, and plan some more. I know what I want to get done each day at home and at work. I have lists for both places by the day and the week and sometimes the hour. I conquer time management. Efficiency is my middle name.

Unfortunately, while I am busy checking things off my list and laughing at the clock, I might not be running the program I wrote in my mission statement.

Covey states that our paradigm shift should look like this

• Leadership then management
• Relationships then schedules
• Compass then Clock

He also teaches that people live their lives in one of 4 Time Matrix's. 

Quadrant 2 is the ideal quadrant to be in. We have planned and prepared and built relationships. We have many important things to do, but we are not operating in crisis mode.

I usually break my life into two main sections the summer and the school year. During the school year, I spend most of my time between quadrants 1-3. At school, I feel like I spend more time in Q1 and Q3, no matter how much time I spend attempting to be in Q2. At home, (I know this is because I don't have children) I feel that I am mostly in Q2. During the summer, except for a few brief moments, I am Q2 and Q4. I have time to get things done, and I have time to waste on the Internetz, so I happily do!

With all that said, I still think that I am failing at this habit. I feel stable and confident in management, schedules, and the clock. While my mission statement reads that I will display respect, kindness, forgiveness, and love (to people), I focus on checking things off a list in a timely manner. I will gladly turn down drinks with friends after work if I have already planned to go grocery shopping. I will let a call go to voice mail, if I have planned to do the vacuuming at that time. If someone (especially someone close to me) is not doing something my way, in my most kind southern voice, I will tell them they are doing it wrong. That is not respectful.

Right now, for me putting first things first means to put PEOPLE before THINGS. Sadly, I am finding not the concept but the practice difficult.

Hmmm.. maybe in true fashion to myself, I will just add relationship building to my do to list. Call so and so. Write so and so a letter. Hug someone. Now, that sounds like a "win-win" solution. *Wink*

Until next time..

XOXOXOX

Yarn, felt, and then some... #PinFTW

My sister, Angela, and her husband are visiting us this week (6 whole days). Yay, us!!!

While the guys were out attempting to snag the biggest fish EVER a fish that would place in the Deep Sea Fishing Rodeo, I thought it would be fun for us to do some crafting. Angela didn't feel the same way. Apparently, she doesn't DO crafts and hasn't looked at Pinterest in FOREVER!! Maybe she is adopted...

Anywho... I convinced her that this was going to be sooooooo much fun!! She managed to wrap at least one wreath, and I don't think she would describe it as fun. I, on the other hand, worked on these wreaths every night because I HAD TO GET IT DONE by this weeks Pin for the Wednesday or else my world would end because, yeah, I'm like that.



My inspiration came from this Pin.

I think ours mine turned out pretty cute. What do you think? If it is not nice, don't say it! Just kidding.

Brooke

 

Jessica

Angela

Debbie

 

 

 

 

By the way, they did snag a few good catches.

This post is linked to Mommin' It Up's Pin for the Wednesdays at


Until next time...

XOXOXOXO