Be Proactive: The Habit of Choice

Habit #1 : Be Proactive

IMHO, to be proactive simply means to be less reactive. Reactions are based on emotions. They are the things that we let control us. They allow us to be irresponsible. On the other hand being proactive gives us the freedom to choose our responses and to be responsible for our lives.

If we are being proactive, we are the authors of our own books. We design and create a life of greatness for ourselves. We no longer blame things on the past, our parents or lack there of, our conditions, our spouses, etc. We understand and choose to control the who, what, when, where, and how of our lives.

That sounds all great and fantastic doesn't it? It is. But in reality, I often find myself reacting to things based on outside influences. Take for example, my relationship with my insurance agent. (insert forced smile) He and I operate on completely different paradigms. Lets just say, he is not as efficient as I would like him to be. Yes, my standards are probably too high. I want him to e-mail me documents. He wants me to come to his office to see documents. I want him to get the paper work done the day I call. He wants to get it done whenever he feels like it by the end of the week. Well because this happens every time we talk, I very much dislike talking to him. I say things like, I HAVE to call Mr. Insurance Agent. HE makes me so mad, and sigh heavily. All of this before I even dial the number. Indeed, our conversations are very reactive. I usually use these phrases in a stern and exasperated voice: Well, honey... no, that is not what WE are going to do, eyes rolling...

Thanks to Steven Covey, I now have been enlightened to the fact that I should be proactive with Mr. Insurance Agent. I will say things like "I choose" to call him. Hmmm.. I see a lot more forced smiles and possibly a bleeding tongue in my future.

In all seriousness, to choose to be proactive in our lives is the right thing to do. It makes us more self aware of how we go about our day to day living and the way we treat others and ourselves. It allows us to increase our influence on the things and people that are important to us. It helps us differentiate between the things we should try to influence and the things we should only be concerned about.

So let's be less coke and more water.

Until next time..

XOXOXO

Knowledge, Skill, and Desire

Habits are a tricky thing. For me most of my habits, bad and good, started forming without much thought to the fact that I was developing something good or bad in my life. Some of my habits started way back when I was a kid and others just developed over the course of time. Like getting up early. I used to sleep until like noon on the weekends, but then I grew up (maybe?) and got a job and had to start getting up early. Unfortunately, a habit was formed. Now, I always get up way earlier than I really want to. 

We all know it takes a long time to form a habit and forever an even longer time to break a habit. Steven Covey in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People says that to change our habits we must have knowledge or know how, skill or the ability to change, and desire or motivation to make or break our habits.

Yep, desire, motivation, the willingness to do whatever it takes to make the change. That's what gets me every time. I want to eat healthier, but I am more motivated to eat cake than celery. I want to save more money, but I am more motivated to buy new shoes.

In the 7 Habits, Steven also introduces us to to the Stages of the Maturity Continuum. Stage 1 = Dependence. Here, we depend on others and we place blame on others. You are the reason I am obsessive. I am in a bad mood because you didn't help me all day. You caused me to be ______. Stage 2 = Independence. The Ego stage. I don't need your help. I can do everything. I already know how to do that, and I don't want to see your way even if it is better. Stage 3 = Interdependence. We can work together to figure this out. We can make something way better than if I did it by myself.

Steven encourages us to move from the I and the YOU to the WE. We can create something higher and better than ever.

For me, this continuum sets the perfect stage for making and breaking habits. If we can work together, we will have more knowledge, more skill, and hopefully more desire to form lasting habits that change us for the better.


Until next time...

XOXOXOX

Paradigms

Next year, my school is taking a new direction. We are coming together to teach students how to find the Leaders in themselves. It is a Franklin/Covey program called Leader in Me. www.leaderinme.org Lucky for me, part of the training consists of training our staff In the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Thus far, we have covered 4 of the seven habits and the natural principles they coincide with. I love that the program allows me to have a clearer focus of the many different aspects of my life and my relationships. In an effort to hold myself accountable (and because I want to remember this stuff) to the changes I would like to see in my life, I choose to document my journey here on the blog. Throughout the year, I will write about various things that occur in my life and in my teaching that are influenced by the habits. Hopefully, this will encourage me to maintain the habits and remember the principles. I leave you with this thought to ponder. The way we SEE ( paradigm) things influences the way we DO (behave) things which affects the (results) that we GET. Until next time.. XoXoXo

Vote for Beaux

  Read more here: http://sunherald.upickem.net/engine/SubmissionWidgetView.aspx?PageType=VOTING&ContestID=56235&SubmissionID=20106742&IncrementNumber=1#storylink=cpy

Goodbye....

downtown brown

Goodbye..
















Hello...

Angel Eyes (blue)

Utterly Pink

Whipped Apricot

Soft Green

Calabash (Yellow)

Lilac #3

This was my Spring Break Pinterest project.

I repainted my dining room table and chairs. These pictures do not do it justice. I am so pleased with the way everything turned out.

I created my own chalk paint by adding a tablespoon of Plaster of Paris to 8oz. sample size paint can. I applied the paint to the chairs and table with sponge brushes. I didn't sand or prime or anything. That is the glory of chalk paint. Depending on the color, it took between 3 to 6 coats of paint to cover each chair. After the paint dried, I sanded each chair with 200 grit sandpaper. I then mixed one Tablespoon of Clear glaze with 1/2 tablespoon of Asphaltum Antiquing Glaze. Brushed on the glaze, wiped it off, and left the excess in the grooves. I sealed with min wax poly-acrylic clear satin (2 coats).

For the table, at the last minute, I decided to the leave the very top of the table brown. So, for now I just painted the legs and sides of the table Victorian Linen. I followed the same steps as above. I love, love, love the way the antiquing glaze looks on the white. What do you think, should I leave the top brown or paint it. too?

This entire dining room set re-do only cost $40.00, but it took me about 40 hours (seriously) to complete.


Until next time..

XOXOXOXO

Spring Break

Whoop Whoop!!  Spring BREAK!! We spent most of our time off on the boat and at the beach. It was bliss.

Beaux loves to ride on the bow of the boat!

Dolphins

My guys in my favorite place

The Happiest Guy I Know